What would it take to change YOUR life?

Last week I was leading a small group session for the kick-off event of another coach’s group program; we were sharing introductions, why they joined the program, what they hoped to learn, etc.

Very quickly, this group of women physicians connected on a deep level, and shared their stories vulnerably. No one knew each other. Most had never been in a coaching program before.

And as we talked about what they would experience, the potential that they had to create major changes in their lives, it struck me how rare these conversations are for us.

When you went to medical school, or started your residency program, you may have heard inspirational speeches about what you were there to do. You were there to learn the sacred art of healing, the science of bodies and use these tools for good. You probably saw mentors and teachers that you admired, and you were eager to be amongst them.

When was the last time that you felt that way?

When we leave our training and start the work of practicing medicine, it’s rare that we get to hear motivational speeches or hear people talk with hope, especially about things that matter to us. Yes, you may see marketing for your organization that touts a fantasy experience for patients, but how often do you see or hear words that inspire YOU about what life could be like?

3 years ago, I was at the start of the same group program in which I now guest coach, and it was the start of something major for me. After years of burnout, my cynicism ran deep, and it felt like there was no hope that life would be different for me if I stayed in medicine. And as I sat there 3 years ago, listening to the coach describe the program, and met the other women physicians I had no idea what to expect.

I started to believe that life could be different.

And that I wasn’t broken, selfish or wrong for wanting it to be better.

I didn’t know what it was going to take to make things different. And what I know now is that it boils down to a few important elements:

-A willingness to be uncomfortable as you learn new things

-Identifying the beliefs and thoughts that are keeping you stuck

-Having a coach or a community or a support structure to scaffold your growth

Change for the better is not likely to fall in your lap. If you struggle with charting, saying no, people-pleasing, perfectionism, etc as I did, and as MANY physicians do, no new EMR system, clinic policy or job change is going to make it better. It takes unlearning your current ways, thoughts and beliefs in service of that better life.

Feeling different, feeling better, comes from inside, even if the struggles involve navigating challenges that are external to you (your schedule, your inbox, your patient load, your contract, etc).

Just as with the small group, I invite you to decide now that you will get what you need to feel better. You will seek the support, the tools, the new habits that will create success; most importantly you will practice new skills, new thoughts, new beliefs. There is NO substitution for this, and yes, it will be uncomfortable.

But here’s a new mantra for you: Discomfort is the price you pay for building the life you want.