What Do You Need to Unsubscribe From? (Hint: It's Not Just Email)

I recently sat down to tame my chaotic email inbox - again. As I clicked "unsubscribe" on newsletter after newsletter (you know, the ones we sign up for with good intentions but never actually read), I had a realization:

There are so many things in our lives as physicians that desperately need an "unsubscribe" button.

Unsubscribing from Beliefs That No Longer Serve Us

When I came into medicine, I mostly saw older white men who had long, successful careers in one place. They were incredibly smart, hardworking, and compassionate. I internalized that as the model of success in medicine.

Meanwhile, I watched younger women physicians - especially those with families - leave practice, take pauses, and struggle to maintain the same career trajectory.

For years, I believed I should be able to practice just like those older physicians did, despite:

• Starting my career with EMRs and 24/7 patient portal access
• Having enormous panel sizes
• Working with dramatically decreased support staff
• Raising young children while married to another physician
• Facing completely different challenges than previous generations

I floundered, holding onto these ideas. And I blamed myself for it.

Take a deep breath with me here. Because this isn't about self-blame. This is about recognizing outdated beliefs so we can let them go.

You may believe:

• Every portal message needs an excellent, detailed answer
• You can't ask for help because you've been labeled "difficult" when you tried
• You should be able to do more with less, even though studies clearly show the work burden on physicians is unsustainable

If we're overworking constantly to compensate for a broken healthcare system, we're perpetuating the problem. We need to unsubscribe from the idea that we should be able to do this.

Unsubscribing from Complexity

As highly capable people who've mastered incredibly complex medical knowledge, we often believe we should be able to figure everything out ourselves.

Maybe you've bought a fancy planner, downloaded a productivity app, or invested in some complicated system that was supposed to fix everything... only to abandon it because it was too complex to maintain alongside your already overwhelming workload.

I remember times as a primary care physician when I tried to manage something slightly outside my comfort zone. I spent hours researching and problem-solving when I could have—and should have—referred to a specialist who would have known exactly what to do in minutes.

We need to let go of the idea that complex is better or that we have to figure everything out ourselves. Get help. Hire someone. Refer. Delegate.

Complexity for complexity's sake is just another burden.

Unsubscribing from Habits That Don't Serve You

This is where we need self-compassion in spades.

Think about your professional habits:

• Running perpetually behind schedule
• Answering every single question patients have, even when it means staying hours late
• Doing tasks below your license level because it's "easier than asking"
• Habitually overworking because "I'll just do it myself"

And what about habits in your personal life? Many of us struggle with:

• Disordered eating
• Over-drinking
• Excessive scrolling
• Poor sleep hygiene
• Putting exercise and self-care last

I say this with so much love: We have to take better care of ourselves. If you've put yourself on the back burner while working, taking care of your family, and fulfilling other obligations, it's time to unsubscribe from that habit.

You deserve to be a fully rounded human being. You deserve connection. You deserve joy. You deserve health.

Where to Start?

1. Make it visible. Write down what you need to unsubscribe from. Make it clear and explicit.
   
   
2. Start small. Don't try to change everything at once. Pick one belief or habit to work on first.
   
   
3. Get support. Sometimes we need professional help to change our patterns - whether that's a coach, therapist, nutritionist, or personal trainer. You don't have to do this alone.
   
   
4. Be gentle with yourself. Change is incremental, not instantaneous. Treat yourself with the same compassion you show your patients.
   
   

Remember: You deserve a sustainable, fulfilling life with meaningful work AND connection to the people you love outside of medicine.

What's one thing you need to unsubscribe from? Share in the comments below.

Dr. Megan Melo is a practicing physician, coach for women physicians, podcast host of "Ending Physician Overwhelm," and working mom. She helps physicians create sustainable careers and lives they love.