The Cost of (False) Beliefs

I talked last week about trauma responses that show up in physicians, and a few ways that we can heal.

One of the methods for healing trauma, is a therapy modality called “memory reconsolidation,” which is not something I have heard discussed, but here’s the basics.

We have a belief that is getting in the way of something that we want. Maybe we want to feel relaxed, or in control, or that we are caught up with work, or to set boundaries or to feel that we are doing a good job. The belief, I would argue for many physicians, is often wrapped up in what we think is required before we can have what we want. Or it might be a belief that what is happening (being required to do more call than in your contract for example) is ok.

Memory reconsolidation requires us to understand what we want, what we are believing (that is in the way), and find the mismatch.

Here’s an example (albeit, kind of a silly one):

We have the weekend off, and want to relax; as in we want to feel relaxed. But a part of us believes that “everything” has to be done first, including chores, projects, errands, etc. We’ve had the experience, over and over again, that rest can’t happen until things are done AND that we don’t feel relaxed even when we do the things AND even if we spend the weekend doing the things we probably won’t be DONE (because we threw a project in there….looking at you “clean the junk drawer”).

Memory reconsolidation looks like finding the times where we have relaxed, where we have FELT relaxed, even though all the things weren’t done, and noticing the safety, maybe even the enjoyment, of experiencing relaxation. When the brain can notice, multiple times, the mismatch between the belief that relaxation is not possible until things are done AND the experience of feeling relaxed without things done, the stuck belief can become unstuck.

And when the belief is unstuck?

We may get to have the things that we want more often. And take it further; when we are rested, connected, have play and fun in our lives and practice boundaries, we often show up as the best versions of ourselves (instead of the tired, crispy version), and better able to accomplish (and delegate) what needs to be done.

Imagine what happens if you felt like the best version of you more often? Or if you could know, and take action, to advocate for yourself for those situations that really aren’t ok (being forced to take more call than in your contract), including reaching out to a lawyer or other advocate.

It may seem farfetched, but I don’t think it’s truly outlandish to imagine that if we could unlearn some of the engrained beliefs about what is required of us (always say “yes,” patients/others first always, be a “teamplayer”).

I don’t believe we’ll ever arrive to a place where we get “everything” done; at work or at home. But I think when we include ourselves in our priorities and attention, we will get the *right* things done, and I think we will feel better.