Do the RIGHT Work to Feel Better

If you caught any of the speeches by Michelle Obama or Kamala Harris that the DNC earlier this month, there was a resounding theme: “DO something!”

This is not a political email.

But it is YOUR invitation to not wait for change. Create change. For yourself.

When I look back on the multiple episodes of burnout that I experienced in my 30s as a busy family medicine physician, growing my family, there was a strong undercurrent that I had no say in what was happening. I had signed up to be a physician, done the work, and that meant that I was signing up to be exhausted, overwhelmed, and humble (“don’t want anything more, you should be HAPPY to give your all to serve people”).

It’s what I saw in others, except a few boundaried unicorns (mostly men), who seemed to be happy.

The inevitability and passivity was sometimes deafening. 

Sometimes I would run into messages about “get more sleep,” or “try yoga,” as many of us encounter in the wellness literature; sometimes I tried, but mostly I scoffed because those things felt impossible.

What was missing from conversations and advice was any mention of how medical training leads us to think and believe that our only value in life is to take care of others. We tell stories of physicians who work “tirelessly” to serve patients, and who are “always available for questions.” We receive feedback that we aren’t a “team player” if we say no, and we (often) learn that this means we shouldn’t ask for things/help/favors/rest.

So when we hear “DO something,” it’s easy to believe that there is an action/app/program/book that will “fix” us and then we too will work “tirelessly” and be “always available.”

But for most of the physicians I talk to and work with, we need to change our idea of “DO something.”

Instead of focusing on the actions, we usually need to do some work changing our thoughts, changing our concept of what the practice of medicine means to us and how we care for ourselves.

So today, your “DO something” is to decide that you will work on changing your thoughts.

It’s not as hard as it sounds, or as sexy as that new productivity hack/app/book you’ve been eyeing (I see you!).

This takes practice and intention and sometimes a guide. But chances are, you’ve changed your thoughts many times over the course of your life; and that means you are 100% capable of doing this work.

And what happens when we change our thoughts (especially those nagging “should” type thoughts)?

We might actually sleep more. Or do yoga.

Or spend time with people that we love.

And get notes done during the day.

And leave work at a reasonable hour.

Because if you believe that you deserve rest, and boundaries and understand how medicine has conditioned you to always be giving, you’ll come to see that you need to act differently in order to get what you need and want. And you’ll make different choices. And you’ll feel better.

Do something.

Want help? Schedule an intro call with me today and let’s talk. We’ll see if we are a good fit, and found out how I can help YOU. https://calendly.com/healthierforgood/coaching-discovery-call